"But by the grace of God I am what I am! 1 Corin. 15:10"

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


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(just needing to get this off my chest)

Why must children be so difficult?  Shane had Monday off so he slept in.  Maddie was doing pretty well but every little thing I asked her to do she would fight me on.  She wouldn't put her cup in the sink after she was through with it, wouldn't pick up her toys, trash from her stickers, whatever... oh and she told me she liked daddy better than me.  Never really gave a reason but still it hurt.

Shane finally woke up and decided to take her to Bass Pro Shops since they have so much neat stuff and she really likes it.  Just out of the blue, said he would give me some time to do whatever I wanted.  That was so nice!!  Guess he could hear the fighting going on.  I didn't really do much, worked on a top, cleaned a little took a short nap then they were already back.  Maddie was home only about 15 min and started yelling because the TV wasn't on.  I was still working on the top and told her to give me a min but she threw such a fit I didn't turn it on.

I just don't know what to do anymore.  No matter what I say, ask or tell her to do she has to argue with me.  She is constantly saying she doesn't know how to clean her room or do whatever you ask her to do or she is too tired or she doesn't want to.  I just keep reminding her that daddy and I don't always like doing what we have to do but we do it even if we are tired.  I've also asked her if she would like me to tell her that when she tells me she's hungry or wants something.  She says, "That's not fair"  Well neither is how you treat us!

I do my best to start out nice with her asking her a couple times to pick up, clean up.... and then she argues with me and I slowly start arguing back until we both just blow up!  Only thing I can do is put her in her room and listen to her scream and tear things up for 30 min to and hour!  It's ridiculous.  Sometimes I go in and try to talk to her but then she will do it again.  If I just leave her alone she will eventually come and apologize and then she will do better for awhile but then start all over.

Last night she wanted me to put her to bed so I did.  (We have some rules for bed, sit in rocker, do her Princess Maddie story, story about what she did that day, sing 2 songs and then go to her bed to do her prayers and sing Rock a Bye Baby.)  After I sang Hush Little Baby, she wanted Jesus Loves Me so I sang that then I told her she needed to go to her bed and she started arguing with me that I didn't sing it.  Totally lost it screaming and yelling at me.  I just left so I wouldn't lose it.  She's really good at pushing my buttons, saying, I hate you, I don't love you.....  Shane went in and talked to her and she told him I wouldn't sing to her.  He said he heard the songs I sang and I did sing Jesus Loves Me she just kept giving him excuses and saying no.  He finally calmed her down and asked for me to come in so she could apologize.  She always seems so shocked when she sees me crying because of what she said.  She told me she didn't mean to hate me and that she loves me and she was sorry.  I told her I was sorry to and that I loved her.  I would always love her even when we argue.
Shane gave me a big hug later and told me she doesn't know what she is saying and doesn't mean it.  I understand that but it still doesn't make you feel much better.  At least today he got to see how she really acts with me during the day.  Sometimes I wonder if he believes me when I tell her this is how she acts and that timeouts don't work only sending her to her room to scream and yell does it.

She always acts like this after she has had long weekends where we are going and doing something, going to friends houses or having them here.  She stays up an extra hour 1 or 2 nights and gets so tired and then getting her back to her normal routine is so hard!

I have tried and tried to pray about this but I can't seem to stop my mind from wandering and sit still long enough to listen to what He is trying to tell me.  I think I need a few days of peace and quiet and just some time for myself.  Selfish I know but I think everyone needs time like that!  

Thank God that today she was so much better!!  Only thing she fought about was cleaning up but I can handle that.  I woke up this morning with a migraine and she was actually really good and let me lay down for a bit on the couch while she played with some of her toys. Let's hope she stays this way for awhile!!

Oh the other day she had a little American flag and I told her we called it that because we live in America.  She said, "No we don't we live in Guthrie"  Shane and I just looked at each other, so shocked she knew that because I haven't worked really hard on that with her.  She said Mr. Noodle told her.  =)  What a smart little girl!!

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