Wasting the day away

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Man am I going to miss being able to just waste the day away simply playing, learning and crafting all day.

 
After being home for the past 4 years I got a call from my old boss asking if I would like my old job back.  I was interested but in some ways I did not want to take it.  I will be working evenings, which is one of the reasons I quit last time, so I won’t be able to spend all day with Mad anymore.  I will be seeing her for maybe 4 hours a day and if she starts sleeping in during summer then it will be less than that.

I still have to go and apply and do all the hiring stuff like the background check and urine test so I should have at least 2 weeks left.  I truly wish this would have came at the end of school instead of the last 2 weeks.  Even though its nights, I will get the weekends off and 11 paid holidays!  That is the part I loved about the job and the pay wasn’t bad either.

I need to keep focused on what is ahead and not what I am losing.  We are doing fairly well with just Shane working but I know this will take some of the weight off his shoulders.  He knows this means our roles will be reversed but he says we will make it work.  We have done this before and we can do it again.  I just pray that my momma heart doesn’t break!  And I will miss not seeing Shane for more than 1 hour a day too.  I just don’t want her to feel like I am abandoning her. 

But again… focus on the positive.  If and when I want something I can get it, without feeling like I need to ask.  We would eventually like to have our own place out in the country so this is going to help us get there quicker.  Maddie will be able to have friends other than the 2.5 hours she’s at school.  That is a big bonus.  I know it might hurt her at first but I know that will be good for her. 

This post isn’t even coming out like I originally wanted, now I’m just letting it all out.  Scared, happy, sad all in one.  I know this will be good but I am aching as a mom.  I know there are many moms out there that do this but it really hurts being away from both of them in the evenings.. not having that evening family time together.  Praying this is what God wants and that He will give me the strength to do it!

Here’s a few pictures from our ‘picnic’ the other day.

We literally laid out on that blanket for hours reading, talking and playing!

I love my silly baby girl and am going to miss this time so much!!  Praying she never forgets it, because I know I won’t!